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| The last several days have been hectic, although I didn't realize it as they were passing. I've packed and moved- and then packed and moved other people's shit, and then packed and moved some more. I've found and lost a job and have not seen much that looks promising since. These are the things that don't matter very much to me, but they have cluttered my life more than I'd care to admit. I have discovered that doing yoga in 105 degrees is awful and wonderful. On the one hand, I can't breathe. On the other hand, my joints feel as if they had never even heard of injuries. I saw my old roommate who had just returned from abroad. Her stories infused me with the feeling that my life is not dead and sedentary, but new and changing. I forget that. A lot. I walk around the campus of my oh-so-impressive summer instituation and feel that I should have on a colonial dress. The large, brick buildings expect such attire. Then I see another polo shirt and hair gel, and I worry about today's parenting. I find it interesting when people think they know everything about me, my history. At best they know what I have disclosed to them (and their friends probably). But to be so sure of knowing a person; I can't understand that. I think it is silly to even try to know every aspect. You can know what you are shown, but the rest is uncertain. I am going to cater a wedding on Saturday. I can't recall being this nervous over something so small. Then again- when I am shot by mr. millionaire (who undoubtedly is known as 'big daddy' by anyone who is anyone) for pouring wine in the water glass, my nerves will be validated. Oh piss. | | |
| I'm standing at the threshold of a crisis. I can feel the emotions stir inside of me, ready to cause calamity. This is a self-made crisis, and it has been long in the making. I don't see the point anymore; I am cleaning my slate. I am moving into Baltimore for the summer and taking classes at JHU. Oh, I feel so classy. I will let you know how the polo is fairing these days. | | |
| Hello, Sara. -Hello, Xanga. Where have you been hiding yourself? -In the real world. Oh. -I don't really need you at the moment. I see. -But I am still going to write at times. Fine by me. -I know. Get on with it then. -...Right. Ok. i need a splendid 19.5 credits to gradumawate college. I can't take that all in one little semester. SO, i must try to take a summer class. sadly, my chosen institution does not offer such a luxury, so i must find one elsewhere. Ok, then. Here I go. I am excited abou the play i am in. I am excited about the people i know. I am worried about what is about to happen, and not quite sure what has recently passed. I think i should stay here this summer. i think i should do my homework right now. | | |
| Recently my Granddad said goodbye to me. Not a simple 'Goodbye,' but a final goodbye. He started to cry as he held my hand. I started to cry when he told me not to feel bad about being small and that he wished he would be alive to meet my husband. I remember feeling like my life was really beginning. Now I realize that it is in full swing. Its good to be with people you've known before. The ones who don't mind when you loose track of your life. You might not keep up on every detail of the others life when apart, but when you're around each other everything is effortless. You don't try to be a certain way, you just are. My favorite part of these relationships is that they feel invincible. These people can really do no wrong to me. I can hear about things they have done (or are doing), and it doesn't change my opinion of them. Wrongdoings can even be directed at me, and I'll rationalize these actions. Basically, these people are golden. Its wonderful to feel this way about people. | | |
| Rent as in the musical. I tried to not like that show (everyone else simply loved it) when I saw it at age 17, but I couldn't help it. And I've only gotten worse (or better!). Coffee as in the bevy...Bevy as in beverage. I'm...I don't know. WONDERFUL. I feel so very much like me. I do feel strange returning to college (again). I think I might get a job in a sports bar (i had probs getting classes). I am worried that my friend will have changed and/or I will have and we won't be great friends anymore. But i have that feeling that it really will all be ok, and I can handle whatev. I am excited to see ocu again. Well, not really ocu, but the people. duh. It shall be strange, but a good strange. yay! I have the haircut I had at age 4. And age 10. wow. this is v. purple. | | |
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